Saturday, July 25, 2009
Update Saturday July 25, 2009
We met with the doc on Friday morning. It does not appear that squamous cell carcinoma (my primary cancer) is in my blood marrow at this point, which is good. However, the biopsy results are inconclusive as to what's causing my counts to drop after each transfusion. Whatever it is, Jen, Dr. Zuckerman, and I have elected to stop chemo and radiation at this time, because the dangerous risks from the chemo far outweigh the slim chance of any benefit.
You know, it's ok. I was dreading starting chemo again next week so I'm enjoying the idea of just letting my body work on healing itself and trying to otherwise get as healthy as I can 'naturally'.
Honestly for a long time I had struggled with the idea of stopping chemo, because there was some element of it that seemed like 'quitting' to me. But I've come to realize, 'fighting' cancer doesn't mean you have to be dumping poison into your body and frying it with radiation. Fighting cancer is an attitude - a state of mind - a way of living - to refuse to let cancer run (or ruin) your life. You can fight cancer with your mind, your heart, your thoughts, what you eat, how you take care of yourself, and how you choose to live each day. You don't always have to have an IV in your port dumping poison into your veins for it to be a legitimate fight against this disease.
So, I'm very much at peace with what's going on right now. Jen and I will be enjoying the reprieve from the sickness and frailty that the chemo brings. We'll be enjoying every bit of life and especially this summer before Jen has to go back to school.
As always, LIVESTRONG!